Childhood brings joy in life that we can hardly find while we are getting older and wiser. Along with not having to worry about a lot of things, every effort you take in childhood is rewarded with support and appreciation. Even the most awkward and clumsy dancing steps, singing that cause ears to bleed or every ugly drawing will get the support of parents and relatives with the hope that you will become better at what you do, even the best. However, as soon as the child becomes acquainted with the outside world, school and peers, it becomes clear that the outside world is functioning according to completely different rules. Unlike the family where the child is always loved and accepted, the outside world is full of rejection, misunderstanding, and even malicious comments and actions.
The outside world does not accept others simply because they exist, everyone must fight for their place and approval.
Okay. The time of school bullying, acnes and childish teasing is over for you, you have finished school and found a job. However, office work gives you anxiety because your colleagues do not accept you or ignore you. It is difficult to carry on task when your coworkers ignore you. Now what?
5 Tips to Be Happier at Work
Here are some useful tips to help you dealing with being neglected at work and to make you happier during work hours. 5 min read –
- Work hard : This is certainly a difficult path. If you love your work and are fully committed to it, it is reasonable to expect that colleagues at work will eventually see your qualities and how useful you are. However, quality can also cause envy and rejection regardless of how much you are trying. Rejecting can lead to a fall in self-confidence, but if you know that you are doing your job properly, then your skills are not challenged, but the way you communicate with others.
- Be always helpful and kind : As studies have shown, any rejection can create two types of responses to rejection: prosocial and antisocial. In other words, when someone rejects us, we try to be accepted or retreat further and often our emotional responses alternate. Antisocial behavior can lead to even greater rejection, because it is for those who reject us just a justification for their actions (“I do not reject him; he is not social and communicative”). Being helpful to others is always a good way to create good relationships, because we show that we do not just think about ourselves, but also about others. On the other hand, even reaching for help can sometimes have a positive effect. Remember that if you came to the office as the last one, you came across the already established hierarchy where you have to show that you are not a threat, but that you want to become part of the community. Kindness is the basic tool for disarming of people and establishing better relationships with colleagues.
- Humor as a medicine : Rejection can cause outbursts of anger and aggression toward others, because it is an attempt to establish control over the social environment that we found not pleasant. However, you should not use that fact as an excuse to be offensive, both verbally and physically to your colleagues but only to understand why you feel that way. Remember that the job is often stressful to everyone in the office, not just to you. Humor is the best way to reduce stress and improve your mood. Making comedies or some personal anecdote or funny event is always good when establishing better social relationships. Every good humor begins with laughing at your own mistakes, because you show that you are open and friendly. It will also make time at work to run faster and for you it will be more fun and certainly no one rejects a colleague who makes them feel comfortable and in the good mood.
- Do not forget to have fun : Although the work takes up a large part of our time, it’s not the only activity that really matters. If the job is the only thing you have in life, then everything that happens at work will affect your whole life. In addition to work, it is very important to enjoy other activities such as sports, socializing with friends and family, reading, watching movies or any other activity that makes you happy and fulfilled. If your everyday life is happy and fulfilled, you will have more energy at work, and even negative events will not be crucial for your life. Moreover, a fulfilling life is the reason more for those colleagues to meet and accept you, because they will see that you are a person of value.
- Build your team : Like you, your colleagues have their own private lives, different interests and hobbies. Try to find out what you have in common with them or what they consider important. Try to call them out for coffee/dinner after work or initiate a surprise for a colleague who has a birthday. Team building is not a matter of a moment, but an ongoing effort in which you have to make a contribution. Offer your colleagues to bring some coffee or something sweet, we all know how much it can be relaxing.
Every sign of attention towards colleagues slowly dissolves the ice of rejection, just be patient.
Ostracism at work and bullying
Although we perceive ourselves as different from animals, our behavior can often be very similar. Graham Brown and Sandra L. Robinson in their article talk about how employees behave territorially and react to a new member of the team as if he has violated the territory of an individual or an entire group. As the expression of aggression against a new colleague is unacceptable, they are resorting to ostracism at work. While many make the difference between ignorance of colleagues and open bullying, research shows that the impact of ostracism and bullying at work are similar .
If you’ve tried everything: you work hard, you are kind, you know how to be funny and pleasant and none of it has been able to fix your relationship with colleagues, then you may simply be surrounded by bad people and you should consider changing your job.